by Jim Jarmo Headpaste Blog     Jarmo's TOAD (Topical Odes Almost Daily)     Jarmo's FROG (Fairly Random Odes Generally) THIS SITE (AND MUCH OF ITS CONTENT) IS NOW WOEFULLY OUT OF DATE (THAT'S WHAT HAVING KIDS DOES, FOLKS)... HEADPASTE 2.0 COMING SOON: NEW MP3s, NEW LOOK, SAME OLD ATTITUDE. WARNING: P*SS OFF IF YOU'RE EASILY OFFENDED ( NOTE TO NON-TECHIES: To download the MP3 files, right-click the MP3 link and select "Save Target As..." (Internet Explorer) or "Save Link Target As..." (Netscape/Mozilla), then follow on-screen instructions to save to your hard drive. Comedy Songs: Spam-I-Am LATEST. A satire on the scourge of cyberspace... Click for lyrics Right-click to download MP3 (1.44Mb)    Click to download and play RealMedia file (411Kb) I Fuckin' Ate "Lord of the Rings" NEW. It's "bye-bye Bilbo & co" in this bibliophagic fantasy epic... Click for lyrics Right-click to download MP3 (1.41Mb)    Click to download and play RealMedia file (344Kb) Click to download new "Sloppy Flash Slideshow" version! (3.21Mb) Polygon Girl The tragic trajectory of a technophilic tryst... Click for lyrics Right-click to download MP3 (1Mb)    Click to download and play RealMedia file (255Kb) Quark Zydeco's Quantum Hop With the Internet, even an inbred redneck hillbilly can become an expert in particle physics... Click for lyrics Right-click to download MP3 (1.72Mb)    Click to download and play RealMedia file (456Kb) MC Osama & The Dirty Bomber – "Ebola Hat" (Live from the Caverns) Al Qaeda does hip-hop Click for lyrics Right-click to download MP3 (1Mb)    Click to download and play RealMedia file (381Kb) Junk Food Junkie A gobful of gastronomic grotesquerie Click for lyrics Right-click to download MP3 (1.8Mb)    Click to download and play RealMedia file (561Kb) The Jargon Song (Demo) A techie tongue-twister inspired by Tom Lehrer's "The Elements" Click for lyrics Right-click to download MP3 (1.42Mb)    Click to download and play RealMedia file (345Kb) Steak 'n' Bap (Cackapella Version) For all those who can't stomach spicy food... Click for lyrics Right-click to download MP3 (382Kb)    Click to download and play RealMedia file (143Kb) The Futurologist's Last Forecast Jarmo's successful BBCi Book of the Future entry - souped up with samples and cutups. Click for lyrics Right-click to download MP3 (1.67Mb)    Click to download and play RealMedia file (502Kb) Grass (featuring Alan Titchmarsh) A cautionary tale for the infrequent toker. Click for lyrics Right-click to download MP3 (2.79Mb)    Click to download and play RealMedia file (584Kb) Serial Media Whores "...Archer's red arse dripped with D-Block's white goo..." Click for lyrics Right-click to download MP3 (1.75Mb)    Click to download and play RealMedia file (405Kb) The Internet Song (featuring Bill Gates) The geek's "Galaxy Song", with apologies to Eric Idle...and for my off-key singing. Click for lyrics Right-click to download MP3 (2.01Mb)    Click to download and play RealMedia file (636Kb) Cut-up Subversion: Hutton Gets It Right (MP3 804Kb) (The report Lord Hutton *should* have delivered on the Government and BBC) Bishopslips2002 (MP3 1.24Mb) (Former Archbishop Carey's 'Queen Mum Funeral Speech' remixed, with apologies to Chris Morris.) Michael Greene...speaks the truth (MP3 1.23Mb) (response to an NTK challenge - Greene's Grammy speech remixed) Cliff out of the closet (MP3 325Kb) [Note: a number of the comedy songs (above) also feature cutups, including "The Internet Song" (Bill Gates), "The Futurologist's Last Forecast" and "Junk Food Junkie".] Headpaste – the (very occasional) Comic Strip:    Headpaste - The Comic Strip #2: Timmy Henman    Headpaste - The Comic Strip #1: No Logo    Headpaste - The Comic Strip #0: Tory Leadership/Big Brother (2001) Jarmo's Evil Elf: [WARNING: HIGHLY OFFENSIVE] Links: Ripping Yarns (my mate Stu's blog - featuring a wealth of weird and wonderful web links...) Cookd and Bombd(the ultimate Chris Morris/Peter Cook fan site - and much more. Check out the "Multimongia" section for cool comic cutups) Osymyso (innovative remixer, dj and maharaja of mashup - with caustic comic sensibilities) All material written, created and realised by Jarmo. For enquiries, please email jarmo@headpaste.com