Saturday, July 31, 2004
Scarlett's been made our top spy,
Begging the question quite why?
I'd wager the deal
Was he wouldn't squeal
On who wrote the dossier lie.
Begging the question quite why?
I'd wager the deal
Was he wouldn't squeal
On who wrote the dossier lie.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:27 AM 
Friday, July 30, 2004
The man they call 'His Holiness'
Says there's no way that he'd bless
The feminist cause,
Which seems odd because
He's the one wearing a dress!
Says there's no way that he'd bless
The feminist cause,
Which seems odd because
He's the one wearing a dress!
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:54 PM
Thursday, July 29, 2004
The triumph of Watson & Crick's
Was DNA's double helix,
And now for all time
Their names are entwined
(Though one's spiralled down the abyss.)
Was DNA's double helix,
And now for all time
Their names are entwined
(Though one's spiralled down the abyss.)
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:44 PM
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Kerry just bores one to tears;
Edwards incessantly sneers...
But, really, whatever,
It's gotta be better
Than Bush for another four years.
Edwards incessantly sneers...
But, really, whatever,
It's gotta be better
Than Bush for another four years.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:53 PM
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Eriksson might have to pay
For bonking an FA PA...
And also because
His Eng-er-land squad
Can't (unlike him) score away.
For bonking an FA PA...
And also because
His Eng-er-land squad
Can't (unlike him) score away.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:19 PM
Monday, July 26, 2004
Al Qaeda tells its recruits
To shake the UK to its roots,
So don't send out bumf
Without any umph
When what we need's NBC suits!
To shake the UK to its roots,
So don't send out bumf
Without any umph
When what we need's NBC suits!
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:13 PM
Sunday, July 25, 2004
A drug aimed at kids (young as six)
Will stop future smack and crack kicks
By blocking the brain
With a new viral strain...
So drug cos. can sell some new fix.
Will stop future smack and crack kicks
By blocking the brain
With a new viral strain...
So drug cos. can sell some new fix.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:00 PM
Saturday, July 24, 2004
It's certainly good news indeed;
Humanity soon may be freed
From one dread disease,
Though our pain won't ease
Until we've cured hatred and greed.
Humanity soon may be freed
From one dread disease,
Though our pain won't ease
Until we've cured hatred and greed.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:36 PM
Friday, July 23, 2004
Thought Tony, "I'll reappoint Mandy,
To once again be my right handie,"
But colleagues said, "No!
He comes and we go...
Console him with some Euro-candy!"
To once again be my right handie,"
But colleagues said, "No!
He comes and we go...
Console him with some Euro-candy!"
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:08 PM
Thursday, July 22, 2004
James Hewitt's gonna get done
For dabbling in drugs for his fun,
Which might well explain
Prince Harry's dope shame;
(They do say 'like father, like son'!)
For dabbling in drugs for his fun,
Which might well explain
Prince Harry's dope shame;
(They do say 'like father, like son'!)
// posted by Jarmo @ 2:00 PM
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Cuts in the nation's defence
Save Gordon quite a few pence,
And now Tony's play
To stick come what may
By George's side starts to make sense...
Save Gordon quite a few pence,
And now Tony's play
To stick come what may
By George's side starts to make sense...
// posted by Jarmo @ 8:14 PM
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Tony looks withered and craggy,
His story increasingly shaggy,
But still he persists
In pounding his fists:
"I was right!" he shouts (...just like Maggie).
His story increasingly shaggy,
But still he persists
In pounding his fists:
"I was right!" he shouts (...just like Maggie).
// posted by Jarmo @ 10:44 PM
Monday, July 19, 2004
Blair says the Beat Generation's
To blame for corrupting the nation,
But maybe this tough line's
A bid to hide his crimes
Of peddling false allegations.
To blame for corrupting the nation,
But maybe this tough line's
A bid to hide his crimes
Of peddling false allegations.
// posted by Jarmo @ 7:44 PM
Saturday, July 17, 2004
Some say they'll be most unhappy
If Palace is bought by Gaddafi,
But things could be worse:
Imagine if Spurs
Was sold to that Bin Laden chappie.
If Palace is bought by Gaddafi,
But things could be worse:
Imagine if Spurs
Was sold to that Bin Laden chappie.
// posted by Jarmo @ 12:25 PM
Friday, July 16, 2004
Labour has angered the voters;
Tories are seen as no-hopers;
Lib-Dems won Leicester
(Thanks to protesters),
But they're beardy-weirdies and dopers.
Tories are seen as no-hopers;
Lib-Dems won Leicester
(Thanks to protesters),
But they're beardy-weirdies and dopers.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:27 AM
Thursday, July 15, 2004
BNP leader Nick Griffin,
Claims that the law is a chicken:
"If you prosecute me
I get airtime for free,"
...But also a bloody good kicking!
Claims that the law is a chicken:
"If you prosecute me
I get airtime for free,"
...But also a bloody good kicking!
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:29 PM
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Lord Butler, in his report,
Found only process at fault:
"For one phoney claim,
"No man merits blame."
(More likely no man got caught!)
Found only process at fault:
"For one phoney claim,
"No man merits blame."
(More likely no man got caught!)
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:57 PM
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
The titles the State bestows on us
Stop some from taking the honours,
Since not all are keen
On Empire and Queen,
Or scraping to patrons who con us.
Stop some from taking the honours,
Since not all are keen
On Empire and Queen,
Or scraping to patrons who con us.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:33 PM
Monday, July 12, 2004
Brown says his spending review
Doesn't mean tax rises too:
"I'll hasten the axe
For lax bureaucrats...
And, yes, Tony - that includes you!"
Doesn't mean tax rises too:
"I'll hasten the axe
For lax bureaucrats...
And, yes, Tony - that includes you!"
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:30 PM
Saturday, July 10, 2004
Tony asked should he step down,
And colleagues said "Don't be a clown!",
But was their support
For fear at the thought
They'd be unemployed under Brown?
And colleagues said "Don't be a clown!",
But was their support
For fear at the thought
They'd be unemployed under Brown?
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:39 AM
Friday, July 09, 2004
Dubya on dubya-em-dee:
"Double-talk weren't down to me;
It's just that our spies
Were tellin' us lies...
So it was the CIA, see."
"Double-talk weren't down to me;
It's just that our spies
Were tellin' us lies...
So it was the CIA, see."
// posted by Jarmo @ 5:35 PM
Thursday, July 08, 2004
Israel's illegal fence
Might cut down terror attempts,
But UN vexation
At such annexation's
Scant help to Arabs in tents.
Might cut down terror attempts,
But UN vexation
At such annexation's
Scant help to Arabs in tents.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:34 PM
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi
Backs a child suicide army
And wants all gays shot;
So I say he's not
Moderate... more bloody barmy!
Backs a child suicide army
And wants all gays shot;
So I say he's not
Moderate... more bloody barmy!
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:08 PM
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
The Queen says enough time's gone by
For her to feel mellow 'bout Di,
So why were her praises
All double-edged phrases
That equally could be deemed sly?
For her to feel mellow 'bout Di,
So why were her praises
All double-edged phrases
That equally could be deemed sly?
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:35 PM
Monday, July 05, 2004
Lords in their hordes refused backing
For plans to completely ban smacking,
But was the real reason
So they'd still have freedom
To see Madam Sin for a whacking?
For plans to completely ban smacking,
But was the real reason
So they'd still have freedom
To see Madam Sin for a whacking?
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:53 PM
Sunday, July 04, 2004
Who'd have foreseen Greek supporters
Cheering, "No nation can thwart us!"
It's no wishful boast:
They've beaten the host...
Like, really, we did in the quarters.
Cheering, "No nation can thwart us!"
It's no wishful boast:
They've beaten the host...
Like, really, we did in the quarters.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:57 PM
Saturday, July 03, 2004
Russian Maria Sharapova:
Sleek Centre Court supernova,
Blonde, seventeen,
And plays like a dream...
Move over Miss Kournikova!
Sleek Centre Court supernova,
Blonde, seventeen,
And plays like a dream...
Move over Miss Kournikova!
// posted by Jarmo @ 5:16 PM
Friday, July 02, 2004
Acting don Brando is dead
But he wouldn't get out of bed
For less than ten mil,
So when he got ill
No one could pay him respect.
But he wouldn't get out of bed
For less than ten mil,
So when he got ill
No one could pay him respect.
// posted by Jarmo @ 10:59 PM
Some say the police name's birsmirched
Because there are more Muslims searched,
Yet would those complaining
Want terrorists reigning,
When then they'd more likely be birched?
Because there are more Muslims searched,
Yet would those complaining
Want terrorists reigning,
When then they'd more likely be birched?
// posted by Jarmo @ 1:42 PM
Thursday, July 01, 2004
Defiantly Saddam Hussein
Denies he's been stripped of his reign:
"I'm still the leader
And Bush is a bleeder...
Now who's gonna unlock this chain?"
Denies he's been stripped of his reign:
"I'm still the leader
And Bush is a bleeder...
Now who's gonna unlock this chain?"
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:35 PM
