Thursday, September 30, 2004
Tony says he'll step aside,
After the next term (year five),
And though his heart's fluttering,
Brown's must be spluttering...
How much more time can he bide?
After the next term (year five),
And though his heart's fluttering,
Brown's must be spluttering...
How much more time can he bide?
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:52 PM 
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Bono, a Blair-Brown avower,
Says they're like Beatles but dour;
Well, both did part ways
In a drug-addled haze...
In this pair's case, though, the drug's power.
Says they're like Beatles but dour;
Well, both did part ways
In a drug-addled haze...
In this pair's case, though, the drug's power.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:18 PM
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Blair's to ban taking the piss
Out of all religiousness;
Not to gain votes
From worshipful folks,
But just so we can't laugh at his.
Out of all religiousness;
Not to gain votes
From worshipful folks,
But just so we can't laugh at his.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:41 PM
Monday, September 27, 2004
A space flight on Virgin Galactic
Might well give you thrills quite climactic,
But who will pay Branson
For kicks a king's ransom,
When pence buys his Mates prophylactic?
Might well give you thrills quite climactic,
But who will pay Branson
For kicks a king's ransom,
When pence buys his Mates prophylactic?
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:06 PM
Sunday, September 26, 2004
Blair is incredibly narked
Conference has tabled Iraq:
"I'd sought all attention
On my re-election..."
Brown, though, must think it a lark.
Conference has tabled Iraq:
"I'd sought all attention
On my re-election..."
Brown, though, must think it a lark.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:34 PM
Saturday, September 25, 2004
Huntsmen are going ballistic:
Hounding poor Hain - it's sadistic!
Restraint, though, means nought
To those who like sport
Bloody and ritualistic.
Hounding poor Hain - it's sadistic!
Restraint, though, means nought
To those who like sport
Bloody and ritualistic.
// posted by Jarmo @ 4:01 PM
Thursday, September 23, 2004
A Muslim who once used to folk-sing
Is moderate and mildly spoken;
So why won't the States
Let him near their airspace?
You ever heard "Morning Has Broken"?
Is moderate and mildly spoken;
So why won't the States
Let him near their airspace?
You ever heard "Morning Has Broken"?
// posted by Jarmo @ 9:19 AM
Abu Musab al Zarqawi
Doesn't have much of an army;
With sword at Ken's head,
His weapon's the web...
Twice cutting edge, but still barmy.
Doesn't have much of an army;
With sword at Ken's head,
His weapon's the web...
Twice cutting edge, but still barmy.
// posted by Jarmo @ 2:35 AM
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Iran has defied UN law,
Enriching uranium ore...
I don't mean to trubya,
But that'll give Dubya
Grounds for another damn war.
Enriching uranium ore...
I don't mean to trubya,
But that'll give Dubya
Grounds for another damn war.
// posted by Jarmo @ 1:46 AM
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Kerry purports to deplore
George Bush's dumb Iraq war:
"We've swapped one dictator,
For troubles far greater..."
Shame he'd not say that before.
George Bush's dumb Iraq war:
"We've swapped one dictator,
For troubles far greater..."
Shame he'd not say that before.
// posted by Jarmo @ 9:04 AM
Monday, September 20, 2004
Chief Justice Woolf and his peers
Say that a mere seven years
Is adequate time
For murderous slime:
"Without them we'd have no careers!"
Say that a mere seven years
Is adequate time
For murderous slime:
"Without them we'd have no careers!"
// posted by Jarmo @ 2:00 PM
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Landowners say 'right to roam'
Will ruin their countryside home...
But we don't hunt fox
Or smother the crops
In poisonous chemical foam.
Will ruin their countryside home...
But we don't hunt fox
Or smother the crops
In poisonous chemical foam.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:57 AM
Friday, September 17, 2004
UN researchers advise
Plague/famine/flood's on the rise
As rampant pollution
Prompts Earth's retribution...
Blow me down! There's a surprise!
Plague/famine/flood's on the rise
As rampant pollution
Prompts Earth's retribution...
Blow me down! There's a surprise!
// posted by Jarmo @ 10:38 PM
Thursday, September 16, 2004
MPs have started to grouse
The serjeant-at-arms has no nous,
But p'raps he's got plenty...
The place would seem empty
Without squires and hacks in the House.
The serjeant-at-arms has no nous,
But p'raps he's got plenty...
The place would seem empty
Without squires and hacks in the House.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:01 PM
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
MPs about to ban hunts
Were stunned by the mother of stunts,
As fans of fox furs
Turned vote saboteurs:
Countryside champs? No, just...
Were stunned by the mother of stunts,
As fans of fox furs
Turned vote saboteurs:
Countryside champs? No, just...
// posted by Jarmo @ 8:37 PM
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Blair swears that he's deeply green,
When clearly he's really more keen
On his re-election,
Since closer inspection
Reveals that he's no Mr Clean.
When clearly he's really more keen
On his re-election,
Since closer inspection
Reveals that he's no Mr Clean.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:15 PM
Monday, September 13, 2004
A fighter for dads' access rights
As Batman scaled Buck House's heights,
But this bold invader
Is less 'Caped Crusader'
And rather more 'sad twat in tights'.
As Batman scaled Buck House's heights,
But this bold invader
Is less 'Caped Crusader'
And rather more 'sad twat in tights'.
// posted by Jarmo @ 5:23 PM
The Cayman catastrophe's rough,
But Ivan's still not had enough:
"Since I'm set to pass
The home of cigars,
I might as well have a quick puff."
But Ivan's still not had enough:
"Since I'm set to pass
The home of cigars,
I might as well have a quick puff."
// posted by Jarmo @ 9:36 AM
Saturday, September 11, 2004
Said Hurricane Ivan: "Oh no!
I've caused the Jamaicans such woe;
They cry, 'Why'd you blast us?'
But I thought that Rastas
Never could get too much blow!"
I've caused the Jamaicans such woe;
They cry, 'Why'd you blast us?'
But I thought that Rastas
Never could get too much blow!"
// posted by Jarmo @ 8:05 PM
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Howard has disinterred Redwood
To set Tory campaign sights headward...
Not men of tomorro',
But more House of Horror,
Full of the old rotting dead wood.
To set Tory campaign sights headward...
Not men of tomorro',
But more House of Horror,
Full of the old rotting dead wood.
// posted by Jarmo @ 1:17 AM
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Policy wonks believe powers
To keep kids in school at all hours
Will make 'em well-rounded,
Which shows just how grounded
Are those stuck in ivory towers!
To keep kids in school at all hours
Will make 'em well-rounded,
Which shows just how grounded
Are those stuck in ivory towers!
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:21 AM
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Mr Brown's friend Mr Smith
With Mr Blair's boys had a tiff,
And now they're exhuming
A. Milburn, Brown's fuming...
I doubt, though, revenge'll be swift.
With Mr Blair's boys had a tiff,
And now they're exhuming
A. Milburn, Brown's fuming...
I doubt, though, revenge'll be swift.
// posted by Jarmo @ 7:49 PM
Monday, September 06, 2004
Bill said to his doc with a start,
"You'd better be good at your art;
I've had many strange hands
On my vital or-gans
But no one before's touched my heart."
"You'd better be good at your art;
I've had many strange hands
On my vital or-gans
But no one before's touched my heart."
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:21 PM
Friday, September 03, 2004
In Russia, a siege gone awry
Blew hundreds of children sky high,
So now Chechen fighters
Don't seem quite so righteous,
And their cause (like those kids) will die.
Blew hundreds of children sky high,
So now Chechen fighters
Don't seem quite so righteous,
And their cause (like those kids) will die.
// posted by Jarmo @ 10:30 PM
Thursday, September 02, 2004
A signal from far, far away
Might mean E.T. has things to say,
But when some geek's Apple
Finds alien crackle
'S more likely some bytes went astray.
Might mean E.T. has things to say,
But when some geek's Apple
Finds alien crackle
'S more likely some bytes went astray.
// posted by Jarmo @ 10:40 PM
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
A funny whiff helped to alert
Police to a little horse dirt:
Seems that some jockeys
Thought they'd fool the bookies...
But now just the sack's a dead cert.
Police to a little horse dirt:
Seems that some jockeys
Thought they'd fool the bookies...
But now just the sack's a dead cert.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:15 PM
