Friday, October 29, 2004
What'll be voters' response
To Bin Laden's sly nonchalance?
My guess is a push
For George Dubya Bush...
Exactly what each of them wants.
To Bin Laden's sly nonchalance?
My guess is a push
For George Dubya Bush...
Exactly what each of them wants.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:19 PM 
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Arafat's going to France,
Where medical care's more advanced,
But if fully fit,
Would Israel permit
Return to Ramallah? Fat chance!
Where medical care's more advanced,
But if fully fit,
Would Israel permit
Return to Ramallah? Fat chance!
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:56 PM
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
The deeper that our science delves,
The stranger the tale of ourselves...
For now they've declared,
This Earth we once shared
With leprechauns, Hobbits and elves.
The stranger the tale of ourselves...
For now they've declared,
This Earth we once shared
With leprechauns, Hobbits and elves.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:18 PM
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
A DJ with musical zeal
Spent four decades keepin' it real:
Though near 66,
He loved teenage kicks;
Now this session's over for Peel.
Spent four decades keepin' it real:
Though near 66,
He loved teenage kicks;
Now this session's over for Peel.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:25 PM
Monday, October 25, 2004
Hundreds of tons of munitions
Were nicked from Iraqi positions,
But while Bush's error
Might lead to more terror,
At least it boosts Kerry's ambitions.
Were nicked from Iraqi positions,
But while Bush's error
Might lead to more terror,
At least it boosts Kerry's ambitions.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:55 PM
Sunday, October 24, 2004
The Navy has given the nod
To one for whom Satan is god,
But since on a boat
He'll not find a goat
He might have to slaughter a cod.
To one for whom Satan is god,
But since on a boat
He'll not find a goat
He might have to slaughter a cod.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:52 PM
Saturday, October 23, 2004
Superman's stem-cell affection
Could swing the US election,
As he tells the campaign
He might walk again...
Though that would be some resurrection!
Could swing the US election,
As he tells the campaign
He might walk again...
Though that would be some resurrection!
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:21 PM
Friday, October 22, 2004
In Bootses from London to Louth,
They'll no longer mess with your mouth...
Though one buzzing tool
Still makes buyers drool
(But enters a bit further south.)
They'll no longer mess with your mouth...
Though one buzzing tool
Still makes buyers drool
(But enters a bit further south.)
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:24 AM
Thursday, October 21, 2004
What will be MPs' defences
For such excessive expenses?
Staff? London flat?
We'll put paid to that!
(Soon as the voting commences...)
For such excessive expenses?
Staff? London flat?
We'll put paid to that!
(Soon as the voting commences...)
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:19 PM
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Columnist Lynda Lee-Potter,
Rude, ranting, Daily Mail rotter:
Her brain boiled hot
At "liberal rot"...
But it was brain rot wot got 'er.
Rude, ranting, Daily Mail rotter:
Her brain boiled hot
At "liberal rot"...
But it was brain rot wot got 'er.
// posted by Jarmo @ 4:20 PM
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
In Florida, Jeb and the lads
Have sure got the state by the 'nads:
Where Kerry's ahead
The touchscreens go dead...
"Heck Bro, that beats hangin' chads!"
Have sure got the state by the 'nads:
Where Kerry's ahead
The touchscreens go dead...
"Heck Bro, that beats hangin' chads!"
// posted by Jarmo @ 8:29 PM
Monday, October 18, 2004
Seems dodgy Defence Sec Geoff Hoon
Deems Dubya's election a boon,
Since saying we oughta
Send more to their slaughter
Will bolster the warmong'ring goon.
Deems Dubya's election a boon,
Since saying we oughta
Send more to their slaughter
Will bolster the warmong'ring goon.
// posted by Jarmo @ 6:56 PM
Saturday, October 16, 2004
Boris, in last week's Spectator
Bumbled right into a crater,
So he's off to say sorry
And be Scousers' quarry...
Still, he's a bold mass debater!
Bumbled right into a crater,
So he's off to say sorry
And be Scousers' quarry...
Still, he's a bold mass debater!
// posted by Jarmo @ 5:50 PM
Friday, October 15, 2004
Some say a chip in the arm
Surely can't do any harm;
P'r'aps not my friends...
But once freedom ends
It's too late to raise the alarm.
Surely can't do any harm;
P'r'aps not my friends...
But once freedom ends
It's too late to raise the alarm.
// posted by Jarmo @ 5:11 PM
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Turning Skegness into Vegas
Won't do the place any favours;
We'd rather our chips
On the front with some fish...
And craps can remain on the pavements.
Won't do the place any favours;
We'd rather our chips
On the front with some fish...
And craps can remain on the pavements.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:37 PM
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
BBC Three is too 'yoof';
Four meanwhile's far too aloof...
But threat of postponement
Was set from the moment
Campbell and co. hit the roof.
Four meanwhile's far too aloof...
But threat of postponement
Was set from the moment
Campbell and co. hit the roof.
// posted by Jarmo @ 1:00 PM
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Retirement's not worth a mention
Since we've not saved for our pension;
The state just can't fund it,
Says every pundit...
So, who's for early ascention?
Since we've not saved for our pension;
The state just can't fund it,
Says every pundit...
So, who's for early ascention?
// posted by Jarmo @ 7:27 PM
Monday, October 11, 2004
Superman Christopher Reeve
From this planet's taken his leave;
His ticker went dicky...
Perhaps his doc's tricky
And hid Kryptonite up his sleeve.
From this planet's taken his leave;
His ticker went dicky...
Perhaps his doc's tricky
And hid Kryptonite up his sleeve.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:55 AM
Sunday, October 10, 2004
Did Dubya, debating, conspire
With allies all via a wire?
"Hell no! That square lump's
'Cos my tailor's a chump;
The cut's bad... and re-ception's dire!"
With allies all via a wire?
"Hell no! That square lump's
'Cos my tailor's a chump;
The cut's bad... and re-ception's dire!"
// posted by Jarmo @ 1:50 PM
Saturday, October 09, 2004
Howard (out in Oss-tray-lear)
Lived to fight an-other year,
But I'll eat my smalls
If the same fate befalls
Michael, his namesake back here.
Lived to fight an-other year,
But I'll eat my smalls
If the same fate befalls
Michael, his namesake back here.
// posted by Jarmo @ 1:47 PM
Friday, October 08, 2004
The men that have rendered Ken dead
Literally take texts as read;
Alas, such fixation
Deems decapitation
A good means of getting ahead.
Literally take texts as read;
Alas, such fixation
Deems decapitation
A good means of getting ahead.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:36 PM
Thursday, October 07, 2004
"Piracy"? Sharing a song?
The BPI's got it all wrong:
Without market bounds
You'll find more fresh sounds,
Which helps the true talent get on.
The BPI's got it all wrong:
Without market bounds
You'll find more fresh sounds,
Which helps the true talent get on.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:20 AM
Docs can't stop poxes and flu
When vaccines might harm me 'n' you,
And yet the real question's
Pandemic infection...
The answer? They haven't a clue.
When vaccines might harm me 'n' you,
And yet the real question's
Pandemic infection...
The answer? They haven't a clue.
// posted by Jarmo @ 2:08 AM
Iraq had no weapons to find
Although Saddam had 'em in mind;
Which might be enough
Excuse to act tough
But not to put lives on the line.
Although Saddam had 'em in mind;
Which might be enough
Excuse to act tough
But not to put lives on the line.
// posted by Jarmo @ 1:06 AM
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Draconian David Da-vis
Says Tories'll drug-test our kids,
But when he declares
That power'll be theirs
He's already taking the piss!
Says Tories'll drug-test our kids,
But when he declares
That power'll be theirs
He's already taking the piss!
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:22 PM
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
In Europe, no wonder we're seen
As merely a joke that's obscene
When our man at the bench
Spouts comedy French
And UKIP bangs on 'bout the Queen.
As merely a joke that's obscene
When our man at the bench
Spouts comedy French
And UKIP bangs on 'bout the Queen.
// posted by Jarmo @ 1:39 AM
Monday, October 04, 2004
Tory toff Oliver Letwin
Says that he'll make the state get thin
And, by cutting waste,
Stop stealth tax posthaste...
I thought they were gonna forget spin!
Says that he'll make the state get thin
And, by cutting waste,
Stop stealth tax posthaste...
I thought they were gonna forget spin!
// posted by Jarmo @ 4:59 PM
Sunday, October 03, 2004
Howard says Tories can win
If they cut through the culture of spin...
A line which itself
Comes straight off the shelf,
Since even UKIP can beat him.
If they cut through the culture of spin...
A line which itself
Comes straight off the shelf,
Since even UKIP can beat him.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:23 PM
Saturday, October 02, 2004
Israel's seized Jabaliya,
Hoping to halt Hamas fire;
They think occupation
Means calm for their nation...
I think the forecast is dire.
Hoping to halt Hamas fire;
They think occupation
Means calm for their nation...
I think the forecast is dire.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:47 PM
Friday, October 01, 2004
The mayor and defenders of Pitcairn
Pinned down at will any fit bairn;
"It's natural," they plead,
"And victims agreed..."
But how can it be if the slit's tearin'?
Pinned down at will any fit bairn;
"It's natural," they plead,
"And victims agreed..."
But how can it be if the slit's tearin'?
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:36 PM
I'm sorry, I just can't relate
To US ideas of 'debate';
Facts don't seem to matter:
Just partisan patter
And soundbites served up on a plate.
To US ideas of 'debate';
Facts don't seem to matter:
Just partisan patter
And soundbites served up on a plate.
// posted by Jarmo @ 2:17 PM
