Thursday, April 28, 2005
Goldsmith believed that the war
Broke international law
But then changed his mind
And fell in behind
George Bush's New Labour whore.
Broke international law
But then changed his mind
And fell in behind
George Bush's New Labour whore.
// posted by Jarmo @ 10:54 AM 
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
While in mid-air on campaign,
Lightning struck Tony Blair's plane;
Perhaps it's a sign
From forces divine
His help from on high's on the wane.
Lightning struck Tony Blair's plane;
Perhaps it's a sign
From forces divine
His help from on high's on the wane.
// posted by Jarmo @ 5:33 PM
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Labour backbencher Brian Sedgemore
Won't defend Tony Blair's dread war;
He wants to condemn
So he's switched to Lib Dem,
Which no doubt means he'll have to hedge more.
Won't defend Tony Blair's dread war;
He wants to condemn
So he's switched to Lib Dem,
Which no doubt means he'll have to hedge more.
// posted by Jarmo @ 1:18 PM
Sunday, April 24, 2005
The BNP's pitch to electors?
They'll give us guns to protect us...
But we'll fire the shots
At those fascist clots
And not their imaginary spectres.
They'll give us guns to protect us...
But we'll fire the shots
At those fascist clots
And not their imaginary spectres.
// posted by Jarmo @ 2:18 PM
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
The Pope damns the high camp of rock
And men who crave other men's cock...
Which cuts little ice
When he's spent his life
Wearing jackboots and a frock!
And men who crave other men's cock...
Which cuts little ice
When he's spent his life
Wearing jackboots and a frock!
// posted by Jarmo @ 10:55 PM
Friday, April 15, 2005
I met a man slumped in a heap
Who'd bought an MG just last week:
"D'you think," came his words,
"It'll still attract birds?"
"Of course," I said. "It's going 'cheep'."
Who'd bought an MG just last week:
"D'you think," came his words,
"It'll still attract birds?"
"Of course," I said. "It's going 'cheep'."
// posted by Jarmo @ 10:02 PM
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
An Al Qaeda donkey called Kamel
Made poison from seed-pod enamel...
Bet he gets the right hump
When his locked-up tight rump
Gets stuffed with more seed (but mammal).
Or...
Terrorist hopeful Bourgass
Used methods some might call crass:
He ground down some beans
For nefarious means...
But now he's just grinding his ass.
Made poison from seed-pod enamel...
Bet he gets the right hump
When his locked-up tight rump
Gets stuffed with more seed (but mammal).
Or...
Terrorist hopeful Bourgass
Used methods some might call crass:
He ground down some beans
For nefarious means...
But now he's just grinding his ass.
// posted by Jarmo @ 10:45 PM
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Charlie, a croft-reared Jock,
Decided to start his own flock:
His bairn glugs the bottle
And spouts shit full throttle...
A real chip off the old block!
Decided to start his own flock:
His bairn glugs the bottle
And spouts shit full throttle...
A real chip off the old block!
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:54 PM
Monday, April 11, 2005
The love-in twixt Gordon and Tony
Is wholly transparent and phoney:
Though Blair's bigging up Brown,
Guess who's keeping his crown
If you buy this campaign baloney?
Is wholly transparent and phoney:
Though Blair's bigging up Brown,
Guess who's keeping his crown
If you buy this campaign baloney?
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:15 PM
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Charlie's wed bride number two,
Cast off his sin, said 'I do'...
"Who cares she's a minger?
One's ring's on her finger,
While hers is full up with one's goo."
Cast off his sin, said 'I do'...
"Who cares she's a minger?
One's ring's on her finger,
While hers is full up with one's goo."
// posted by Jarmo @ 9:13 PM
Friday, April 08, 2005
Among the Pope's notable mourners,
Were figureheads flown from all corners,
Like fraud Berlusconi
And murd'ring Mugabe...
With friends like that who needs Reformers?
Were figureheads flown from all corners,
Like fraud Berlusconi
And murd'ring Mugabe...
With friends like that who needs Reformers?
// posted by Jarmo @ 8:08 PM
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
As parties campaign for our votes,
They're all at the other lot's throats,
So why put your cross
For spin-doctored dross
And meaningless mealy-mouthed quotes?
They're all at the other lot's throats,
So why put your cross
For spin-doctored dross
And meaningless mealy-mouthed quotes?
// posted by Jarmo @ 3:13 PM
A robot eye linked to the mind
Is promising sight to the blind,
But at such low-res
The pics in their heads
All look ZX80-designed.
Is promising sight to the blind,
But at such low-res
The pics in their heads
All look ZX80-designed.
// posted by Jarmo @ 2:16 PM
Monday, April 04, 2005
Prince Charles and Camilla's big day
Was postponed when the Pope passed away,
'Cos they can't tie the knot
While he's laid down to rot...
They'd have no guests to eat the buffet!
Was postponed when the Pope passed away,
'Cos they can't tie the knot
While he's laid down to rot...
They'd have no guests to eat the buffet!
// posted by Jarmo @ 10:55 PM
Sunday, April 03, 2005
A Pontiff who came down from Krakow,
Thought morals folks had distinct lack of,
So he spread AIDS by banning
All family planning
And saying that no one could whack off.
Thought morals folks had distinct lack of,
So he spread AIDS by banning
All family planning
And saying that no one could whack off.
// posted by Jarmo @ 4:31 AM
Friday, April 01, 2005
Jarmo apologises for the recent lack of TOAD entries, but having spawned two months earlier than expected he has been rather tied up with family matters...
My baby's shut up in SCBU*;
My-oh-my what a TDU!
She doesn't look happy
With wires in her nappy
And pipes in her parts... Well, WJU?
*(Special Care Baby Unit, pronounced "scuh-boo")
My baby's shut up in SCBU*;
My-oh-my what a TDU!
She doesn't look happy
With wires in her nappy
And pipes in her parts... Well, WJU?
*(Special Care Baby Unit, pronounced "scuh-boo")
// posted by Jarmo @ 3:12 PM
