Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Brian from East 17
Wasn't thrown through his windscreen;
He backed up his Merc
And fell out, the berk...
Less Bolan, more Mr Bean.
Wasn't thrown through his windscreen;
He backed up his Merc
And fell out, the berk...
Less Bolan, more Mr Bean.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:23 PM 
Really, can pop save the planet?
Or merely make music and can it?
It may well inspire
By lighting your fire
But politics still has to fan it.
Or merely make music and can it?
It may well inspire
By lighting your fire
But politics still has to fan it.
// posted by Jarmo @ 4:18 PM
Monday, May 30, 2005
That godawful Crazy Frog song
Won't top the charts very long,
'Cos the number-one frog,
With his head in a fog
Is Chirac, now France has said 'non'.
Won't top the charts very long,
'Cos the number-one frog,
With his head in a fog
Is Chirac, now France has said 'non'.
// posted by Jarmo @ 10:42 AM
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Sellafield's lido-sized leak
Leaves nuclear's fate looking bleak,
For who will still sniff
At wind power if
Their kid's born a two-headed freak?
Leaves nuclear's fate looking bleak,
For who will still sniff
At wind power if
Their kid's born a two-headed freak?
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:35 PM
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Liverpool centre is kicking:
Crowds roaring, cameras clicking...
But although half the city's
On the street singing ditties,
Half is in empty homes, nicking.
Crowds roaring, cameras clicking...
But although half the city's
On the street singing ditties,
Half is in empty homes, nicking.
// posted by Jarmo @ 10:16 PM
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Blair's bio-ID idea
Bolsters our Big Brother fear...
Will we soon see no harm
In a chip in the arm
Or a barcode tattooed in the ear?
Bolsters our Big Brother fear...
Will we soon see no harm
In a chip in the arm
Or a barcode tattooed in the ear?
// posted by Jarmo @ 3:30 PM
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Panton-Valentine leukocidin,
What one poor Marine got inside 'im,
Is a bug long thought squished,
Or so we now wished,
'Cos PVL's been merely hidin'.
What one poor Marine got inside 'im,
Is a bug long thought squished,
Or so we now wished,
'Cos PVL's been merely hidin'.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:33 PM
Monday, May 23, 2005
London town's smothered in smog,
Fuelled by a four-by-four fog
That's forming above
Every Humvee and SUV
Guzzling their fossil-fuel grog.
Fuelled by a four-by-four fog
That's forming above
Every Humvee and SUV
Guzzling their fossil-fuel grog.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:17 PM
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Top Tories want to see Clarke
As leader - they're having a lark!
Since they cannot find
A man of our time
They're wheeling one more out 'the Ark.
As leader - they're having a lark!
Since they cannot find
A man of our time
They're wheeling one more out 'the Ark.
// posted by Jarmo @ 12:48 PM
Saturday, May 21, 2005
On the bus don't be caught napping,
Or you might face 'happy slapping';
Before the kids wop ya,
Grab hold of their Nokia
Amd stuff it where you'll stop 'em crapping!
Or you might face 'happy slapping';
Before the kids wop ya,
Grab hold of their Nokia
Amd stuff it where you'll stop 'em crapping!
// posted by Jarmo @ 10:29 PM
Snaps of Saddam in his pants
May fuel fundamentalist rants...
Good job they hid
The 'cattle prod' vid,
Where Bush chants, "Dance, monkey-boy, dance!"
May fuel fundamentalist rants...
Good job they hid
The 'cattle prod' vid,
Where Bush chants, "Dance, monkey-boy, dance!"
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:39 AM
Friday, May 20, 2005
Since he became a poll risk
Seems Tony Blair's slipped a disc:
Like a broken EP,
He repeats, "Stand by me..."
While we plead, "Stand down - make it brisk!"
Seems Tony Blair's slipped a disc:
Like a broken EP,
He repeats, "Stand by me..."
While we plead, "Stand down - make it brisk!"
// posted by Jarmo @ 10:39 PM
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
George Galloway's galloping gob
Has slammed Bush's warmong'ring mob:
"It's a little bit rich
Calling me Saddam's bitch,
When you lot sold arms to the dog!"
Has slammed Bush's warmong'ring mob:
"It's a little bit rich
Calling me Saddam's bitch,
When you lot sold arms to the dog!"
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:03 PM
Shame if disease soon devours
Kylie with all her pop powers:
Some tumorous bits
Have got on her tits...
Just like her hits get on ours.
Kylie with all her pop powers:
Some tumorous bits
Have got on her tits...
Just like her hits get on ours.
// posted by Jarmo @ 5:59 PM
Monday, May 16, 2005
Millionaire Malcolm Glazer,
US tycoon and trail-blazer,
Has snapped up Man U
And made the Reds blue:
"Wait until cup day - you'll pay, Sir!"
US tycoon and trail-blazer,
Has snapped up Man U
And made the Reds blue:
"Wait until cup day - you'll pay, Sir!"
// posted by Jarmo @ 1:56 PM
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Rolf's found a right Royal kismet,
A far cry from killing some kid's pet:
"Looks a bit like a lizard...
Some swan in its gizzard...
Heh! Can you tell what it is yet?"
A far cry from killing some kid's pet:
"Looks a bit like a lizard...
Some swan in its gizzard...
Heh! Can you tell what it is yet?"
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:47 AM
Friday, May 13, 2005
Tony's made tons of new peers,
No doubt because the git fears
A battle of wills
Might block half his bills,
So at the Commons he sneers.
No doubt because the git fears
A battle of wills
Might block half his bills,
So at the Commons he sneers.
// posted by Jarmo @ 9:37 PM
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Blair's told the media circus
Malls should ban shadowy lurkers,
But not all in hoodies
Will snatch all your goodies...
Some are just layabout shirkers.
Malls should ban shadowy lurkers,
But not all in hoodies
Will snatch all your goodies...
Some are just layabout shirkers.
// posted by Jarmo @ 11:55 PM
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
The kid who was in 'Home Alone'
Claims Jacko ne'er jerked his bone,
But he didn't say
Whether, in play,
Bubbles would ever get blown.
Claims Jacko ne'er jerked his bone,
But he didn't say
Whether, in play,
Bubbles would ever get blown.
// posted by Jarmo @ 10:40 PM
Lord! What a whopping great bonus
Blair's thrust upon his Adonis...
Ain't homoerotic,
Just downright despotic:
Shoe-horning in all his cronies.
Blair's thrust upon his Adonis...
Ain't homoerotic,
Just downright despotic:
Shoe-horning in all his cronies.
// posted by Jarmo @ 10:26 AM
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Dracula's brought in new blood
And dinosaurs - all of them dud,
For no Maude or Malcolm
Or Osborne can help 'em:
The whole lot are stuck in the mud.
And dinosaurs - all of them dud,
For no Maude or Malcolm
Or Osborne can help 'em:
The whole lot are stuck in the mud.
// posted by Jarmo @ 10:22 PM
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Blunkett is back with his dog
And spazzy-eyed smirking fizzog;
Good job Boateng's left though,
And gone to Soweto:
He'd prob'ly have called him a wog.
And spazzy-eyed smirking fizzog;
Good job Boateng's left though,
And gone to Soweto:
He'd prob'ly have called him a wog.
// posted by Jarmo @ 10:18 AM
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Dracula's off, draped in blue,
Back to his coffin - it's true!
But we've one request
Before your long rest...
Won't you please take Tony too?
Back to his coffin - it's true!
But we've one request
Before your long rest...
Won't you please take Tony too?
// posted by Jarmo @ 6:04 PM
Friday, May 06, 2005
Labour's majority's slashed:
Seems Tony's nose has been bashed...
But if your design
Was for him to resign,
Your hopes (like Brown's) will be dashed.
Seems Tony's nose has been bashed...
But if your design
Was for him to resign,
Your hopes (like Brown's) will be dashed.
// posted by Jarmo @ 10:55 PM
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Today is the day that the proles
All get to go to the polls:
Won't matter a toss
Where we put our cross;
The whole bloody lot are arse-holes!
All get to go to the polls:
Won't matter a toss
Where we put our cross;
The whole bloody lot are arse-holes!
// posted by Jarmo @ 9:46 AM
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
A gun-toting teacher named Walker
Shot kids she said tried to stalk her;
Don't talk in her class;
She'll shoot up your arse...
Or much worse if you try to pork her.
Shot kids she said tried to stalk her;
Don't talk in her class;
She'll shoot up your arse...
Or much worse if you try to pork her.
// posted by Jarmo @ 4:28 PM
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Blair says by voting Lib Dem
We'll get the Tories not them;
It's rubbish, he knows,
So bloody his nose...
He's still bound to get in again.
We'll get the Tories not them;
It's rubbish, he knows,
So bloody his nose...
He's still bound to get in again.
// posted by Jarmo @ 5:00 PM
