THE FUTUROLOGIST'S LAST FORECAST by Jarmo (As featured in the BBCi Book of the Future - only without the artless interference of a half-witted copy editor who has no appreciation of scansion.) I always said the future would be full of fine ideas, With plenty of invention packing out my pension years - From GM crops that thrive on drops of acrid acid rain, To solar cars, hotels on Mars and drinks that boost the brain. I'd never've predicted that what people wanted most, Were robot slaves to cook and serve them sizzling cheese-on-toast, Or dreamt a used-car salesman would design a better wheel, And HRH would abdicate in favour of John Peel. And, even steeped in symbol, Nostradamus never said That one day every home would have a Web-enabled bed, Or could've guessed that old George Best would broker global peace, As PM David Beckham's envoy in the Middle East. But what shook me the most was when it came the height of chic For stars to sculpt their lips into a plastic puffin's beak - So there I'll swear the future is too fickle to foresee, And forecast I'll be forced instead to take up history. (c) Jarmo, 2003 - www.headpaste.com Listen to The Futurologist's Last Forecast, souped up with samples: download MP3 (approx 3Mb) << BACK TO HEADPASTE HOME PAGE <<